I vaguely remember seeing this “Upworthy” post a while back, but was reminded of it last night when a friend shared it on Facebook. The text on the post, if you don’t want to click through, reads:
NEWSFLASH: Being a jerk is always a bad idea, but it is an especially bad idea when a) you have no idea what you’re talking about, and b) you choose to target someone who has the ability to completely break down your crap on her very own live show.
The video that follows is of a rather large female news anchor who takes a viewer to task (calls him a bully) for daring to call her overweight. We’re then treated to this video:
It didn’t sit well with me the first time, but I gave it some thought overnight:
Let’s start with the definition of bullying, I’ve taken the opening sentences from the Wikipedia entry, which I think offers a fair description of the term:
Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively to impose domination over others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power.
The original email sent to said overweight news anchor contained none of these properties, and in particular, was neither repeated/habitual nor did the sender have an advantage of power. In fact – and as this episode has amply demonstrated – it is she who has the advantage, given that she has retaliated against him through a medium in which he does not have the ability to respond.
There is in fact a very good argument to be made that she is the bully in this scenario. I only stop short of making this statement on the basis that she did not personally identify the man.
All this said, the only way in which his email could be considered “bullying” is if you consider *any* mention of someone’s weight in a negative light to be “bullying”. Let’s therefore consider our response had he written the same email to object to a different issue: racism.
And this is how his e-mail might well look:
Hi Jennifer,
It’s unusual that I see your morning show, but I did so for a very short time today. I was surprised indeed to witness that your *behaviour* hasn’t improved for many years. Surely you don’t consider yourself a suitable example for this community’s young people, girls in particular. *Racism* is one of the worst choices a person can make and one of the most dangerous habits to maintain. I leave you this note hoping that you’ll reconsider your responsibility as a local public personality to present and promote a *polite and inclusive behaviour*.
You will see that he makes absolutely no threats, nor is his tone aggressive or intimidating. He does not once use pejorative language.
In the original e-mail, he doesn’t even “call her fat”, as she claims. Instead he uses the clinical term which she herself admits is accurate. His comments are either factual or moderately expressed – and clearly stated – personal opinions.
On the other hand, her response – and that of her husband and friends – was to turn this comment into a public discussion (they twice changed the forum: from private email to Facebook, and then to live TV) taking place either without his knowledge, or at least no obvious invitation to present his perspective.
She also ignores his key points, i.e. her responsibility within the community as an example/role model, and the suitability of her health choices to that responsibility.
Instead, she lashes out with what is in effect, “I know I’m fat and I don’t care. I have thick skin and everyone agrees with me that you’re a bully.”
Again, try putting that response to the modified example above: “I know I’m racist and I don’t care. I have strong opinions and everyone agrees with me that you’re a bully.”
I’m sorry, but (once again) Upworthy has taken the wrong side of the issue!
(Editor’s note: See my tweet from last night. And this response from a Leftie. Upworthy really is… unworthy!)
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